Thread:Underredded/@comment-32609364-20200112023211/@comment-32609364-20200124163623

Ok so it's a little late but I've been incredibly busy, and especially after doing two essays which ended up being not posted, it's time I made a third one properly without misfingering something or running out of battery

Anyhow, it's been a while since I did a long essay on this wikia, what a time it's been since though. Cr is doing well again, and there was just about enough time away from that game, when I started it again a few weeks ago it was quite fun ngl. Lots has changed since.

But however, I'm going to be very honest, there have been many problems I am willing to address here

So, turn back to early 2018 right there, we all know what was going on. Loads of beef and tension, it was quite hostile tbvh. And the problem honestly lay in the fact that I had tried interfering into the issues of other people (read: Sharp Elite) thus getting them mad. Understandable from my point of view I think I was in the wrong there, not anyone else, it was really a misunderstanding. I was a little too obsessed, and they didn't like it, I take blame for that. But their response afterwards in one of those card pages, I didn't feel too good about it, and I wasn't really in the best mood, so I snapped. This really shouldn't have escalated to this point ever since, but it really went to show that how interfering with one another's issues and being a little too nosy, dare I say obsessive wasn't a good idea. I wonder if the dude's alright now.

But however, I think the most scumbag move on my part was dragging another person not involved in the conversation straight into this drama. I admit it, I shouldn't have done that even once, much less a few times. Was a really dick move from a relatively young and childish person back then, and yeah again that's my bad.

I think we can all admit they were also being incredibly unreasonable at times, and on their part they've literally called me out for things I have never been quite a few times, and honestly can't get any more insulting as well at the occasional moment.

I should've let it all go by mid 2018 but I kinda got defensive about myself and it didn't bid well for me nor the people involved, I guess I was being incredibly stubborn and unwilling to change my thoughts and stuff. Sooner or later once Sharp Elite left, I kinda realised I had to change and also due to quitting Cr just recently during that point of time, I eventually made the decision months later to also leave the wikia for quite a while.

Why did it not bid well for me? Well, a lot of these habits and stubbornness kinda carried over to my real life and did affect me a lot socially, even if I didn't wish it to, as I didn't like having any similarities between my real life and my life on social media. This ruined my 2018 to a huge extent, and anyone could tell once I started moving away from Cr wikia and it's influence on me, of course most of it being my fault I just felt a lot better not thinking about it and having some free room to just restart myself in terms of the way I do things, live life, interact.

2019 was a huge year and honestly I managed to change loads during then, it was not all good or bad, mostly both but because of personal reasons I won't go into the actual details. All I can say is that a restart could be important for your recovery, be it for the better or worse. And that's not even an exaggeration, at least for me.

Now to the cr stuff. I've talked to Ragelike, we did have a chat and midway I decided maybe I should start a new deck and playstyle instead of using the Rascalloon deck from my last account. Yes, I got a new account, I don't intend to get all my cards back because I do want to form a new style of play, it won't be entirely different but it'll be different. Probably relaxing on the defensive plays, and definitely putting more effort in pushing a lot more frequently, and try to have as much fun even if not in double elixir mode. After time is now gone tho, another reason why I can't play that relatively defensive style anymore.

Anyways 2020 has been rough so far but I intend to gain back that momentum I've really, maybe say desperately needed through this chinese new year

and I'm more than willing to have people come over and talk on this message wall, all of your comments will be replied to :D

Anyways cheers and happy chinese new year, and additional apologies to the people who've felt that they've been somewhat wronged by me. I'd hate to keep the tension tbvh.