Board Thread:Fun and Games/@comment-30040390-20170224015639/@comment-28117441-20170330222725

The properties of the altar and sphere you claim to have built are negated by the fact that, due to the Law of Noncontradiction, a circuimstance that will always prevent the turnip from being stolen and an ability to steal the turnip regardless of circuimstance will never exist in the same universe. Therefore,

MY TURNIP.

I give it to the Smithsonian, who display it publicly as "THE Last Turnip on the Earth."